The Hopeful Cynic: Archive

Check Out The New Ride

Me: C'mon, guys. Let's go.
Boone: Hey. What is that?
Me: That is our new minivan.
Wyatt: That is far from mini. It's like a... maxivan.
Me: Climb in.
Boone: Bro, check out all this room.
Wyatt: Man, you could totally build a fort back here.
Boone: Oooh, can we?
Me: As long as we're not driving.
Wyatt: Aw, man. That's no fun. I want a mobile fort.
Me: Climb on up into your seats, fellas.
Boone: Jeez, this is high. I feel like I need a sherpa.
Me: Careful now.
Wyatt: I'm cool. I'm a great climber. I've got WHOA! OW!
Boone: Nice going, ace.
Me: Are you okay?
Wyatt: NO!
Boone: At least his head broke his fall.
Me: C'mon. I'll put you in your seat.
Wyatt: No. I hate this minivan now.
Me: Oh, yeah. Did I mention it has a DVD player.
Boone: It does? Bro, we can watch "Thomas."
Wyatt: We can? Strap me in!
Me: God, you guys are like junkies.
Wyatt: Hey, since we're in the van, can we go by the toy store and get some more Thomas trains?
Me: We don't need any more trains. You've got plenty. You've got to learn to make do with what you have.
Boone: Says the guy with the new minivan. What exactly was wrong with the old car?
Me: It, uh... Let's go get new trains!
Wyatt: Yay!